The birth of my first son.

My childhood wasn’t a great one, but I guess it could of been worse. My Dad was an Alcoholic and my mom was the stay at home mom. There was a lot of fighting in my home that it got to the point that I used to pray for my mother and father to get divorced. Well they finally did. I didn’t know howvto feel. I prayed for it for so long then I guess when it finally did I was relieved. Me and my mom were the last in the house and there were times we didn’t get along. I feel that she blamed me for him leaving, well she actually told me he left cause of me. I know now that wasn’t true. But that really screwed me up. I finally met someone, I’m not going to mention names we dated for awhile and I got pregnant. He was an abusive boyfriend, he asked me to marry him and I said yes he proposed in front of all of our friends. Everything he did it had to be big and he always had to be the center of attention. Things got bad after I had the baby. I wasn’t allowed to go out and if I did go out and I was 5 minutes late I would get my ass beat. Not to mention that I had post partem depression. So I went into my own little world where I was afraid to go out, if I went to the grocery store I would shop, but as soon as I would get in line the panic attack would start, so I would leave my carriage and go home. It got to the point I couldn’t go anywhere. I went to see a doctor and he put me on anti anxiety meds so I was okay in that respect, but the relationship was really bad. He was very mean and if I didn’t do what he said I would get a beating. I finally came to a point where I started packing up my things and hiding them in the babies closet. My father found me a place to go with the baby and I was so happy. After all the beatings and mental abuse I was finally free. But also scared, because I had this little person I was responsible for. So for all you women out there in abusive relationships you don’t have to stay. I was a happy person before all of this took place it was 7 years of hell I think the best day of that relationship was the day I left he cried like a baby. But I was definitely done with him. And to see him cry made me happy after all the crying he made me do. Well that’s all for today and I hope y’all have a beautiful day.

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